Did Alan Carr pull off an incredible feat? Or were the faithfuls just play really – in other words sensational terribly? Discussions will rage through digital feeds for some time, regardless the champion of the inaugural – and likely not the final – season of The Celebrity Traitors is the deceptive Alan Carr.
When first anointed by the emcee, we thought he wouldn’t last an hour. He proved that right. “I feel sick. I’ve got a moisture dilemma and find it impossible to maintain a secret.” Moreover, he is incapable of murmur or recollect whether he’s won a shield.
Surrounded, however, by several of the least astute contestants of the game for quite some time, he managed to succeed, developing into the role with terrifying ease. He concluded with a dramatic touch, breaking out in semi-crocodile tears about how hard it had been for him to carry the murderous burden.
The last two faithfuls, hurried to console him (“It’s been tearing me apart!”). Viewers watching, it’s easy to picture heavenward looks and shouts.
The Ultimate Face-Off
As things commenced of the concluding installment, there had been five left contestants of the starting group of nineteen. Subsequent to one ultimate team challenge, including a railway engine, twenty thousand pounds in secure containers, tools and tips placed within the compartments, and two linked sarcophagi (“I stepped up a bit there,” says one participant of the unwrapping. “Because I was happy to lose a finger”), they gathered for their ultimate meeting.
Two contestants cast their votes for a different contestant, in spite of the expert’s notable history of thinking his way to every erroneous outcome imaginable. I remain firm in my view that that contestant would have made the planet’s best deceiver, but as a loyalist he was calamitous.
He did manage to choose a different player at the meeting, nevertheless, and she was accurately eliminated at last.
Emotion and Resolution
Down to the final quartet. One struggles to describe to write about what transpired following. One contestant … experienced a doubt. A moment when he suspected his best friend. One of the greatest friendships of modern times, between the biggest personality and the most diminutive character on the screen, the athlete and the problem-solver, reeled under the blow as the uncertain player turned over his concluding choice to unveil his dearest companion’s name.
The voted-out player remained steady – his nature does not allow for it – but had he been able, he might have. “Yet I care for you,” the participant said, helplessly.
The removed participant left, the surviving pair thought they were safe and subsequent to an activity involving tossing bags into a fire, the group decided to conclude the game.
Being the only last betrayer, Alan was announced as the victor and took the full prize pot for the children’s cancer charity. But the most important thing is that when the emcee guided the group to a reunion on the castle steps, amends was immediate.
Saying Goodbye to the Contestants
I shall, in company with the over thirteen million other spectators, feel their absence. (Excluding two contestants who never got a chance to achieve a lot, and a different who failed to say sorry for bungling a particular challenge.)
I will long for the bitter fury of an individual participant, the Shakespearean sorrow of a separate player, the complete failure of a further contestant to interpret events without self-reference.
I shall miss a certain player’s distrust of complex vocabulary, a pair’s cleverness, a performer’s undeniable aura, a star as the distillation of everything that remains good in this fallen world, a veteran host as the small screen’s final performer, a kind-hearted player and the constant uncle-like charm of a cherished personality, in addition to all the finalists themselves.
Above all I shall miss the grace and elegance of an individual participant, so supremely noble even when shouting into a hole or passing gas in a hut. As the individual under the host’s hair emphasized on multiple times, you were, mostly, inept in the competition. However, you served as wonderful, exceptional diversion.
The Celebrity Traitors is available for viewing currently.
