🔗 Share this article

“Well, it’s rather brutal here. We’re advising all of our clients to invest all their resources into preserved goods and firearms.” This piece of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a lab-engineered, articulate, bespectacled member of the slimy Gremlin horde that infests Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. On the surface, it’s simply an portfolio pointer from one monster to another. Yet, in a strange manner, it’s also surprisingly sturdy existential counsel. Honestly, hear me out.

When things go bad, the worst thing you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin understands this. Indeed, most of the toothy monsters that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (debateably his greatest) possess the same knowing, self-referential sense of humour regarding the indistinct border separating everyday life and unadulterated chaos. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and with the passage of time, it’s the message that echoes the loudest.

An Early Life Obsession

Of course, my fondness for this movie wasn’t born on such an philosophical plane. As a child, we only had a few well-worn videocassettes at home. Part of that group were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a thick former-rental sleeve almost certainly acquired from an off-brand video shop and sporting snarling creatures on its tattered front. I was instantly captivated and these films quickly proceeded inserting themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. Henceforth, they became an almost-daily part of my youthful watching schedule.

Dante’s first film commonly garners all the accolades, thanks largely to its status as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. However, its sequel seldom receives the same level of lofty appreciation, which feels criminal. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d lock myself inside and stick it on. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. With repetition, it became deeply rooted in my mindset. If my parents observed this fixation, they didn’t seem to mind.

Subtler Delights and Societal Nuggets

As I got older, new revelations rewarded multiple watches, amplifying the pleasure of watching little green monsters joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused development mogul and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon future president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his one-time partner Marla Maples. Fortunately, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his real-life counterpart.

The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during maximum monster mayhem? I discovered it was inspired by a real-life “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner in case the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film varying versions of a self-aware scene where Gremlins take over the exact movie you are viewing. A version for theaters, another for home video and television, each offering a winking bit of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy prior to the concept being mainstream.

A Lasting Influence

While it was effects expert Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this deeper gold kept me hooked as an adult. In time, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation revealing to me he made the movie with the specific aim of mocking those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This cartoonish insubordination and commitment to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses obviously desired, only increased my affection for it.

When I went through a sudden family bereavement recently, I was taken aback to discover that, during my heightest mourning, all I felt compelled to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Perhaps not. The nostalgic calm it offered was needed to dilute my mind’s sadness sludge – but the stuff it had imparted to me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins running amok in a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just are powerless over. Dante knows it. The Brain Gremlin knows it too. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: accept the turmoil, put everything you’ve got into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.

It’s strong life advice from a very unlikely source – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my go-to cinematic solace.